i just don't wanna be screwed up

I was sick recently, and i behaved like a loser. Seriously majorly. I whined and cried and felt sorry for myself and basically unwilling to do anything productive but stone. Plus i craved for attention which my mum is no longer able to provide me with 4 grandsons driving her mad and i was looking so hard for another figure who can be my source of assurance and comfort.

I whined and begged for one and i got it but i don't feel good about it at all. I think neither did he but he tried.

Suddenly i feel like i am pushing the limits and boundaries of the relationship. It may be due to the lease that we're going to sign and i'm trying to make my final decision seem more convinced, or the contrary.

Poor dondon. 原谅我是这样的女生.

我拍青蜂侠不需要替身!

The first minute of the trailer made me think it was a spoof/comedy like 'Superhero Movie'. I'm not familiar with Seth Rogen but don't you think he looks like one of those pudgy funnyman (think jack black) who'd star in a lame comedy as a loser rather than a superhero in an actual action flick? I think 1 reason why jay chou took the part was cos bruce lee was in an earlier version. The lines were so lame in an unfunny way and his perpetual zilch face expression does not make them any funnier. In fact i actually cringed. Poor jay chou.

I hope the actual movie would be better than the trailer or jay chou should just be known as a musician.

Kiyomizu Temple, Kyoto, Japan

Yahoooo! I have got some time which i feel a bit hardworking so i edited more photo :)

Rainy day in Kyoto. But at least we managed to borrow a nice normal looking brolly instead of those auntie flowery ones heh.

 Entrance to Kiyomizu Temple.

The view is breath-taking. I would love to be here in autumn when the leaves turn red.

 Most of the little shrines look similar to me, but apparently they have different 'functions'. Some are to bless your love life, some for your family etc. Just plop some coins in and ring the bell! Something gets blessed somehow.

Haha! Stones dressed in red aprons :)

Apparently the whole of the main structure is built on wooden stilts. HMM! It IS an extremely large structure.

Cozy looking shop front.

Narrow streets filled with rows of shops. Touristy shops no doubt.

Dinner for the day was a super healthy tofu meal. ALMOST vegetarian except for the one piece of prawn.  It was a bland, expensive novel idea.

Doesn't it look like tofu steamboat? But this is how you eat it. Wait for the top layer to cool down and harden...

Then you lift it up! -_- It is unbelievably soft and silky, but also tasteless. You can dip it into their soya sauce but again defeats the 'heath meal' purpose. I guess we had a little thrill from producing sheets of tofu.

Sometimes i hate looking into the future. Because i know what i am heading towards is clearly not what i wanted for myself. Except for my house. I've always wanted to have my own place. To paint it furnish it decorate it, a place where i can truly call my own. But as down payment looms near i fear greater for the baggage it will bring along; what 'buying a house together' really means. I wonder if it is normal to fear. To doubt. I desire for a different kind of life but i have no courage for actions, for words. I know i might come to regret my lack of initiatives in 10years time. Where is good advice when you need it.

I know my blog has kinda ceased to be a colourful travelogue and in its place is a space filled with emo crap but i have been busy playing The Sims 3 pardon me for the laziness. Zzzzz if you'll excuse me i'm gonna sleep now.