i just don't wanna be screwed up

I was sick recently, and i behaved like a loser. Seriously majorly. I whined and cried and felt sorry for myself and basically unwilling to do anything productive but stone. Plus i craved for attention which my mum is no longer able to provide me with 4 grandsons driving her mad and i was looking so hard for another figure who can be my source of assurance and comfort.

I whined and begged for one and i got it but i don't feel good about it at all. I think neither did he but he tried.

Suddenly i feel like i am pushing the limits and boundaries of the relationship. It may be due to the lease that we're going to sign and i'm trying to make my final decision seem more convinced, or the contrary.

Poor dondon. 原谅我是这样的女生.